Love isn’t always simple and today you have an opportunity to experience a more complicated kind of pleasure. Beautiful Venus usually adds sweetness and grace to your life but an uneasy aspect from shadowy Pluto offers up sensual delights from the hidden recesses of your subconscious mind. No matter what, don’t let fear stand in your way of a meaningful experience. Open your heart and let love in. http://www.tarot.com/astrology/daily-horoscope/pisces-horoscope/?scopeDay=20131002
With a horoscope like that, it makes sense that I would have the conversation today. I’d been thinking about it for a couple days, that now was the time to seriously talk about opening our relationship, before something bad happens or someone gets hurt. But we are also on a time frame because we’re having a baby soon and ideally I’d like to have a girlfriend for both of us before then, so that when I’m recovering or too tired or not feeling up for it, he will have someone to have sex with. Does that sound crazy? Oddly enough, I feel like this is the least crazy thing to do right now. Crazy is expecting to have 100% of your needs filled by one person, for the rest of your life.
To be honest, I’ve wanted a polyamorous relationship since before I was with my current partner and have had open relationships in the past. Who’s to say whether they were successful or not? I mean, they all ended, but is a “forever relationship” the only kind that can be considered successful? They worked while they worked and ended for reasons that had nothing to do with an open lifestyle, so in that way I consider them successful. But those relationships were also different than my current situation, because I was less invested in the people I was with before. Like I said, my boyfriend and I are having a baby in about four months, and while we’re not sure if marriage is right for us, we definitely want to be together and raise our child together for as long as possible.
I’m not going to say it’s all for him, but the reason I’m bringing up polyamory now is because I want us to be honest and open with each other, so that cheating doesn’t happen. Cheating has become almost an accepted way of life for a lot of people, and I’m of the opinion that it’s wrong and unnecessary. I’m not a jealous person, I just don’t like being lied to. I’m more than happy to share as long as it’s fair and it’s out in the open, not secretive and selfish. Since I caught him lying to me and trying to meet up with another girl a few months ago, I’ve been suspicious, jealous, watching his every move, and he’s defensive, more secretive and still lying. I don’t like being like this, and I’m sure he doesn’t either. Another girlfriend might be just the thing he needs.
But I also miss having a girlfriend. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve been with a woman, and the last one broke my heart, but I miss having a deep connection with another female like me. I also love boobs and pussy and it’s been a long time since I’ve touched them. I want to share another woman with my man, but I also want her to myself sometimes.
It’s not like we’re gonna go get a girlfriend today or even put up an OKCupid profile just yet. I’m reading up first. The Ethical Slut and Opening Up are both open on my computer right now, so I can learn as much as I can to make this relationship work. It might be a month or so before we meet up with a girl and that’s ok, because I want to find a lasting relationship with someone, and don’t want to enter into this on a whim and hope it works. That’s just a recipe for disaster.
This is just the beginning of our journey, our venture into polyamory together, and I have no idea what’s going to happen. That’s part of the fun of it, right?